Oh Happy Day!

Dont' you love eskimo kisses!? I just thought I'd put a picture of a happy, beautiful day!
December 21st, 2002

Today is another happy, blessed day. The results aren't conclusive; just so you all know that first. I don't know if we told you all where they found the tumors, but just in case they were all in my abdomen, some of which were on my ovaries. Did I tell you all that? Let me say right now for all those who don't know me very well, I type almost as fast as I think so you get pretty much EVERYTHING I'm thinking in these blogs at least for the time I'm typing! Lucky you! Anyway, they only have me doing chemo because if we can get all the cancer with the chemo then it's still possible that Will & I can have more children. Which is definitely what we hope God has in mind for us. However, if they can't get all the cancer with chemo then radiation would be the next step which would kill the cancer as well as the chance of us being able to have more children unless we adopted which we've talked about doing anyway. Adoption is a beautiful thing that I'm not going into because I have to get some rest! (That's me trying not to be long-winded!) So bottom line, the CAT scan showed that the scar tissue & general site where my surgery was performed is healing more & looking better. It also showed that it's possible that I'm in remission! There was one 'something' seen on each of my ovaries. At least I'm consistent. They aren't sure if they are cysts or if they're tumors, but they're very small whatever they are. The recommendation was that I get an ultrasound to try to determine which they are cysts vs. tumors. Regardless I'll have 4 more chemo treatments & if the tumors are malignant then I'll probably have 6 more. Whether they're benign or malignant praise our Lord that those two are the only ones inside my body! That means the chemo is working FABULOUSLY! So please keep the prayers coming. I wish I could give each of you who read this a big hug for your concern & of course prayers for my family & me. Or tell you in person, I truly believe I will get the chance when we all meet in heaven on that blessed day!

I hope you all had such a great Friday evening. Will is sick & so this weekend will be full of rest for him but if you wouldn't mind just praying for him I would be so grateful. Please just pray that God lay His healing hand on Will & make him better. It's so hard because he loves Lilyanah & me so much that he tries to limit his chance of getting us sick by not holding us as much as we all want! (My favorite place in the world is cuddling on his lap like a baby! I told Lilyanah when she was in my tummy that she's lucky I'm willing to share him with her & that I always get first dibs at being held!) He will actually sleep on the floor beside our bed because he doesn't want to sleep beside me & breathe on me but at the same time he says he can't sleep soundly if I'm not close & the next room is too far. Aren't I a lucky & so loved girl!

We'll keep you all posted when we find out more, I don't have an ultrasound scheduled so who knows when it will be. . . well other than God! Love you all, Wendy.

More Lilyanah Pictures

I just wanted to share two more pictures of my beautiful granddaughter. We've been bathing her in the big bathtub with a bathtub sponge Will's mom got her. She absolutely loves the water and mostly just lies there taking everything in. In spite of the circumstances that have brought Lilyanah and her mommy and daddy to live with us, Chet and I get to see her everyday and help with her care. Praise God! What a blessed grandma I am! Denise

CAT Scan Day

Good morning, afternoon, or evening, depending on when you're reading this. . It's our big day, even though we won't receive our results for about 2 business days; I guess that'll be our 'gi-normous' day! Anyway, I thought I would share some of the interesting things said when we were in the hospital for the month of January. Now, I have the excuse of being on some sort of drug at least part of the time, where the others in my family do not. But you have to love those goofy word slips.


1. The doctors approached us with the idea of a colonoscopy & when we were talking to Dad about it, he repeatedly referred to it as a “colonostomy.” We told him if he was going to talk like an expert in the field, he may want to pronounce it correctly. ( I love you Dad!)
2. While explaining to Mom how to remember my OB doctor's last name, Dantas, I intended to draw a connection to the movie, "The Count of Monte Cristo," in which Dantas was the main character's last name. Instead I said, "Yeah Mom, like Edmond Dantes from "The Count of Monticello."
3. Will slipped & said "umbiblical cord."
4. The day we had a lot of doctors coming in to talk to us about all of our options for inducing labor, having more tests to see what was going on in my intestines & surgery, the last doctor of the day came in & said, "I bet you have Doctoritis." Of course what I heard was Dr. Itis & in a very serious voice said, "No, I don't think we've met that doctor yet." As soon as I saw the smirk on Will's face, it hit me what she had said & we all at least got to laugh at the goofy patient--me.

That's all I can remember right now & I'm sure the majority of those are “you had to be there,” but I still thought I'd share them! Anyway, Will & I are going to spend the day running fun errands, which will be a huge treat for me because: #1-I get to spend the entire day with my husband & #2-I get to go shopping! That’s something I haven't done in quite some time because of everything going on! So again, thank you for your prayers, we love you all & also, thank you so much for your comments, I cherish reading them! For those of you who have said you were unable to make a comment & want to, I'm going to get another email address, but for the time being the only one I have (and you are more than welcome to email to it) is: wendyjcraig@yahoo.com.

I kept my pre-married email address so friends from long ago that I couldn't reach would still have a way to reach me. I guess the fact that my parents have lived in the same house for the past 25 years & had the same phone # for 28 years is also a really great way to find me, so it's time for a post-married address!

P.S. Wendy wrote this, but since I'm publishing it, I thought I'd add another picture of my beautiful granddaughter! Have a blessed day & please don't forget to pray! Denise

Pictures of our Helping Hands

I recently realized that you haven't seen pictures of some of the people who have been responsible for taking such good care of Will, Lilyanah & me. So, I'll add more to this info wise soon but I wanted to get some pictures up! So here's our immediate family on the Craig side. . . . . . . . . .Corey (27) is on the far left followed by Will (26), Jeremy (30), Dad aka Chet (51), Wendy (29), Lilyanah (I'll have to check into how many weeks old!), & Mom aka Denise
(like I would tell!)

I also wanted to include a picture of our G'ge, prounouced Gege with long e's. . . She has been so instrumental in making our lives heavenly & I just happen to have this picture of 4 generations on my side. What a blessing that I could pretty much take this picture everyday of Lilyanah's little life because we are blessed to be surrounded by her Grandma & G'ge! (We're still working on the spelling, any suggestions?)



I bet you want to know the story behind this one! I told Saundra in OKC that I would load this up b/c I was on the phone with her & Will in his creativity decided to help me out with having a 'hands free' phone. It worked great until we got disconnected & I couldn't redial!

MORE!? (Seeber blog link)

I know the mind reels that I could have MORE to say after last night but today I found out that some very dear & important friends of Will & I are going to have a little baby after a long journey of wanting, praying, & waiting for their very own little one! They're important for many reasons but as you'll find out if you check their blogs out, they introduced Will & me, for which we are forever indebted to them! Anyway, I completely dislike the word 'complications', but I think Mindy is getting close to the 3 month mark & there are some. So, I know that all of you who take the time to read this are frontline prayer warriors & it would mean so much to us if you would add the health & growth of their precious miracle baby & comfort for Dwayne & Mindy as they face the uncertainty complications bring to your prayer list. And check out their blog, I haven't figured out if it's possible to have a link to their blog on our post but the address is:

www.seeberproductions.blogspot.com

or you can just put Dwayne & Mindy Seeber in search & theirs if the first on the list of results!
Just one more thing, if you could put March 29th on your prayer list also. . . That's when my PET scan is scheduled! We're all pretty excited, we won't get the results for another couple of days but it'll tell us if there's any cancer left & if so how much! So, thank you in advance for your prayers, I can't say that enough! Love you all, Wendy.

Broken. . . BLESSED!

Picture of Will & Lilyanah on 2-12-06 ( 5 days shy of 1 month old!)
What a joke of a bottle!

You know those days when you just fall broken at God's feet?
Today was one of those beautiful days. I was racing around the house trying to tidy up & my body hit a point where I couldn't do anymore. Not I didn't WANT to do anymore, I COULDN'T do anymore. I admit I've been emotionally & spiritually exhausted before, but I've been healthy all my life until now & never have I experienced exhaustion like I did today. Thus my blessed spiritual fall .

It's funny this thing, cancer. First I thought of everything I would leave behind if it beat me. All the events I'd miss in the lives of those I love, wonder if my life has really made a difference. . . But then it hit me that what I'm facing is a win-win. In all actuality what I was so afraid of was facing our Savior, and since when is that something to fear?! I hope that all of you find this peace I've been given, (of course I hope you find it without cancer inside of you!) "peace that passes understanding", it really isn't just a phrase, it's that emotion like the word "hallelujah". I think of that word as the word that captures all the words I feel toward God but can't express with any words in our dictionaries or even physical actions. It's like the word that says, "nothing I say is enough, You hear the words in my soul & You alone understand."

I love my life. I love my husband so much more than my life, I love my daughter more than my life. I love my family. And I don't say that lightly because all of those people, they are everything to me. But as much as I love all of them I love my God more. Some of you say that makes me strong, I think it just makes me really smart! Because if you could see my soul you would see a broken woman laying at the feet of God. And I mean BROKEN. Any strength that you see, it's Him. He's all I want you to see. Any of you who have been broken at the throne of our Creator, at the feet of our Savior know that is where His strength is at its strongest & your spirit soars!

Why does it usually take something sad or tragic to make us realize how weak we are & accept the power He offers EVERY moment of EVERY day!? Those of you who are sad for me, who say "I wish it hadn't happened to her" or even "why did it happen to her". . . . . I wish you could see how blessed I am. My life is completely jammed packed with blessings!

I've cried tears of righteous & unrighteous anger & been given GRACE. I've cried tears of regret and God gave & continues to give me forgiveness. I've cried tears of heartache waiting for God to reveal to me then man that He wanted me to share my life with. And He gave me Will at the perfect time & perfect place. A man in whom lives every prayer my mother prayed since before I was born. I've cried tears of sorrow from losing a child before we got to meet and God gave me peace. I've cried what I call "Hannah tears", tears that only a woman who has longed for a child with prolonged anticipation can understand. And now I have the sweetest gift of a daughter laying on my lap as I write. A daughter that God used to reveal my cancer at the perfect time & perfect place. And I've cried the tears of a woman with cancer, but I've been given the gift of realizing DAILY what a gift this life is, something I didn't do enough as a woman without cancer and in His time & His place He will give me the healing only He can give.

So don't be sad for me, cause' yes, I get tired some days, & yes, cancer hurts my body most days & of course YES, I long for the day when I am completely healthy again. But I don't question why it happened to me. It happened because this world is not perfect. It happened because God knew He could bring good out of it. I just hope & pray that I get out of His way & allow Him to bring all the beauty out of it that He can.

I don't know how God speaks to you or where you hear Him the best. He spoke to me tonight through His music. So let me make a perhaps goofy recommendation tonight to all of you who spend an hour reading this lengthy blog entry. Do yourself a favor make a tape, a cd, a play list on your MP3 player of the songs that bring your heart close to God. . . & next time you sit down on the couch, pick up the remote & start to search for something to watch, stop. Turn the television off, set the remote down, get off the couch where distractions surround you . . . run a warm bath, light some candles, put your music on & spend an evening with our Redeemer. If you sing along as loudly as I do you may want to make sure everyone else is doing something else equally loud so you can praise our Father without restraint! Believe me I did & He blessed that time so immensely I can't tell you with words.

Maybe that's why I keep typing & my entries, emails, everything are so long. . cause' I just keep trying to find words to express how happy & blessed & complete I am made by Him. I'd much prefer that to just being a blabber-er.

This girl has to get some sleep, but I love you all and hope you have such a blessed day!
Resting in His arms,
Wendy.

Chemo #2

I know you all must have gone to your knees for us this week! It is truly amazing the prayer cover that we feel protecting us, and that's all because of EVERY SINGLE ONE of you! I went into the appointment really tired so I plugged in to Will's MP3 player & was instantly at peace. It was like I was back in my car driving to Kansas to one of my dentist's offices. That was always a time when God would speak to me through words in a song or through the scenes He would paint in the sky. I LOVED IT & that's what the downtime on that hospital bed was like. Which, since we're talking about it, the hopsital bed didn't even feel uncomfortable! I slept through the first 2 of the 5 total hours I was hooked up to the IV.

I don't really remember how I felt after the first chemo but Mom says the difference in my reactions between the first & second treatments were like night & day. I had some pretty icky nausea after we got home & slept pretty much the rest of last night but felt good this morning upon waking up! My mother & sister in law are in town until Friday afternoon & are making sure I get all of the water I'm suppose to drink. . . between 80 & 100 ozs!!!!!!! So I call them my water nazi's, but a necessary evil because it's suppose to help me get rid of all the chemicals they pump me full of.

Will went with me to my appointment, that goes without saying. This cancer is not my cancer, it is our cancer & the hardest thing for him is that it is in my part of our body. God truly blessed me with a man who lives to serve God & make his girl happy -- girls I mean! Which reminds me, I figured out what the 'real' worst part of the chemo is. . . It's that for 24 hours after I finish I can't touch Lilyanah skin-to-skin, I have to have a blanket or something between us because some of the chemicals can be excreted through my skin. Sad, huh!? But we make it, I still get to talk to her, sing to her & love on her. So I am still such a blessed woman!

So I'm going to end this update with one of my cheesy Wendy observations.
Will & I were driving down Rex Hill which is my favorite view of Newberg because the valley just opens up in front of you. Anyway, there was this beautiful cloud that had gray on the bottom & was so fluffy & white & gorgeous up top. It just made me think of the cancer & how yeah, it's not good, we wouldn't have chosen to get it. But at the same time I wouldn't trade all the glimpses of love, support, kindness, encouragement, generosity & selflessness that God has shown us through friends & family as a result of the cancer. So thank you to all for being an extension of our Father in our lives!!! Much love to you all!

The Making of GI JANE

March 9th was a good day.

Dad was very thoughtful & bought our baby girl a "happy (it's suppose to be your) birthday" cake, candles, party hats, & even her first birthday card. When Will got home we all donned the hats, lit her candles, sang her the birthday song & had a little celebration. Titus & Gideon even got in on the fun! Although I have to say, as cute as they looked in their party hats the real fun was watching dad trying both to get them on & to stay on. Will helped Lilyanah blow out her candles before we moved the table out of the way & got on to making me GI Jane's stunt double. We were all so busy celebrating that we didn't get many pictures, which is why I don't have a good picture to post.

On to the hair, once the scissors were in my hand I had a hard time making the first cut. I felt like a little kid who got a hold of some contraband scissors & was about to do something I would get in trouble for. But once I shot caution in the wind & did it, the rest was smooth sailing. I must say, from experience, there is no way those people in movies who give themselves a hair cut could make it look half as good as they do! I did my right side just fine but hello, I'm right handed & there's no way I could cut my left side the same or even reach the back of my head! I kinda look like a rooster, don't I!?

I figured last night was, Lord willing, a once in a lifetime occurrence so I wanted to have some fun with it. It was an ideal opportunity to see what I would look like with a 'boy cut' & see if any of those present were natural born hair stylists. (They weren't even close!) Will, Mom & Dad took a shot at it after I was done & pretty much completed my hair's mutilation. Mom used some techniques she hasn't used since she cut Jeremy & Corey's hair when we were kids. My poor brothers, if their cuts were 1/4 as crooked as mine they must have worn hats for weeks afterwards. Sorry to say it Mom, but I LOVE YOU! Dad cut a smiley face into the back of my hair. . . Wow, I never thought I'd be typing that sentence! We experimented with some 80's styles but my favorite was 'the oh-so-timeless; ultimate combover, that one was Dad's idea. And I'd have posted that picture over the mohawk. but, the little hair that I had blended in too well with the background.

Seriously, I'm surprised that bald doesn't bother me, but thankfully it doesn't. Of course if I had a choice it would have been nice not to lose my hair but I didn't & I was wasting so much time trying to pick hairs off my shirt & whatever I laid my head back on. Plus, with as much hair as I have it would have taken a while & been such a pain to clean up after! Mostly though it made me sad to see my hairs on Lilyanah, so the hair had to go! I'm super glad we did it like we did, when we did and hope you enjoy the pictures as much as we enjoyed taking them!

I decided to include this last one kinda so you could see full circle with the whole bald thing, but mostly because I wanted to slip another picture of Lilyanah in! Who, speaking of, I need to go feed. She's not a fussy baby but when she's hungry she sure lets us know.
Love to you all! Wendy.

Lilyanah's original due date

Today is the date our beautiful Lilyanah was actually due and she is doing very well! So I thought I'd post some more recent photos. Although the pictures are from mid-February, at least they're newer than the last one!

Wendy is having a pretty good week. She has quite a bit of energy and has been doing some serious cleaning for me, which is a tremendous help!

We ask that you please continue to pray for Wendy and Will. Wendy is looking great, but still has quite a ways to go with the chemotherapy treatments. After her 2nd treatment next Tuesday, 3/14, she'll have another PET scan to show the progress of her recovery. We'll let you know the results! Have a blessed day! Denise

The day of 7s!

On the 7th of March Lilyanah will be 7 weeks old & has passed the 7 lbs mark for weight! We love 7s! Now, if only I could say she was going 7 hours between feedings! I'm not complaining though because she's going between 4 1/2 & 5 hours, oh life's little blessings. A couple of days ago Grandpa measured little Miss Lilyanah & she's a whopping 19 1/2". How quickly they grow! But she just couldn't be better, she's so strong & doing everything she should. She especially has "melting her mommy & daddy's hearts" with just a look, down pat.

Our family has really stepped up to ensure that I get all the sleep I need to keep my energy up. Grandma feeds Lilyanah whevever she can & Uncle Corey takes her 3 a.m. feeding, which is priceless, as any new parent knows. Will takes her 10 p.m. feeding & usually stays up with her into the night. She couldn't ask for a better daddy. It's been such a blessing getting to watch him gently & tenderly discover what it is to be a daddy & see how beautifully he loves on our daughter. God blessed us both with a husband & a daddy who not only knows HOW to love, but knows how to love well. And Great-Grandma Ruth has made herself absolutely indispensable to us all. She watches over Lilyanah & I throughout the day & makes sure I'm fed. If any of you have been lucky enough to eat some of her cooking, you know I'm getting the best home cookin' available!

Chemo treatment #1 is history & chemo #2 is quickly approaching. The past couple weeks have definitely had their ups & downs. The first week was the easiest but the second brought some nausea & a lot of abdominal pain. This week I'm using some new pain medication that works much better than what they previously had me on, so I'm feeling quite a bit better. As of tonight my hair is starting to take a vacation elsewhere. Who knows how long it will take for me to lose it all, but I have to say it's a strange reality to run my fingers through my hair & see so much of it in my hands. I won't be able to get upset at the dogs for shedding for a while! Another really great development has been my shrinking tummy. After having Lilyanah & my surgery, my tummy looked like I was about 3 months pregnant but throughout the month, between surgery & chemo, my stomach starting getting bigger because of the growing tumors, which was pretty scary to watch. However, a little less than a week after chemo it started to shrink & I'm very happy to say that it is noticeable only to me now that it's a little bigger than usual.

Lastly, I just have to say that while this could have been a very difficult time for our family, it has instead been truly blessed. We have been wrapped up & completely surrounded by love, thanks to all of you & the amazing covering your prayer has provided above, below, & all around every member of our family. For that, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Until the next installment,

many blessings to all of you!